The truth is, in a good relationship your partner wants to give you what you want; she wants to please you. The problem is that sometimes we don’t communicate our needs very well when it comes to sex. That’s a shame. Sex can be enjoyable for both partners if we just take the time to observe each other and express ourselves better. Follow these tips and you will likely have a more enjoyable bedroom experience.
Communicate in the positive, not the negative
Nobody likes to be criticized, so avoid critiques while in the bedroom. When your partner does something that is sexy, tell her. A groan, an “oh yeah, that’s good” or other positive expression will keep her motivated and let her know she is on the right track. If she does something negative, don’t mention it unless she continues to do it. And then, mention it only when you both have your clothes on – over a casual conversation. To avert the negative behavior while in the bedroom, do something to set her on a different course.
If you think that your partner is faking it, then talk about it. You need to find out why she is avoiding self-pleasure. Does something hurt? Does she have an insecurity? Or worse, does she feel her own sexual satisfaction is not important. By being sensitive to her needs as well, you will make sex more pleasurable for both of you.
Turn her on with a little dirty talk (link to article – How To Talk Dirty Without Getting Booed Off The Stage). You may need to test the waters a little in this area. Worse case is that she is disgusted by the talk and feels degraded. If that happens, then simply steer clear of trashy talk in the future. If she giggles, then you may have touched on an area where you can have a little sexual fun reserved for the bedroom. Calling her a dirty whore while having sex may be okay, but don’t try that when you are having dinner with her parents. If she laughs out loud, hysterically, then although she may not be disgusted by it, she is also not turned on by it.
A gentleman holds my hand. A man pulls my hair. A soulmate will do both.
Some people just like it – the fetishes and the fantasies. There are many online places such as Randy Rabbits that welcome members with active sexual imaginations. Kinky sex with bondage, spanking and whips can be enjoyed but only with mutual permission. Safety must be practiced as well. You don’t want to risk injury with rope burns or unsafe words that cause physical or emotional damage. Set up boundaries and stay well within those boundaries.
Not reserved for Halloween, taking on the identity of another person can add a level of excitement with someone you trust. Sexual power play roles can include the stripper and client, the Headmistress and pupil, or the boss and secretary. Never humiliate or disrespect your partner. This is supposed to be a fun activity so don’t cross the line and spoil it for everyone.
We hope this will help you get some ideas so you can add something extra in the bedroom department and above all have fun!
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