No Strings Fun

Female Alien Involved in Terrestrial Love Triangle

July 25th, 2014 by Lisa
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A 53-year old Labour councillor and driving instructor is claiming that his romantic relationship with an alien has caused significant strife in his marriage. Simon Parkes and his alien lover, the Cat Queen, have a child together by the name of Zarka. Parkes claims that having intercourse with his alien child’s mother has been putting quite a strain on his relationship with his human wife, with whom he has three children. He states that he and his extraterrestrial paramour have sex on an average of four times per year.

Female Alien Involved in Terrestrial Love Triangle

Female Alien Involved in Terrestrial Love Triangle – [image source]

Parkes describes the sexual encounters with his alien lover as the two of them holding hands, saying, “I’m ready,” which causes some type of mysterious technology to elevate the two lovebirds to a spacecraft that is orbiting the Earth.

Parkes also claims that his real mother is 9 foot tall alien female with eight fingers who first contacted him while he was still in the womb and then again when he was six months old. He says that her long, skinny fingers that looked like bean poles were the first indication that the creature kneeling by his cot and reaching out to him wasn’t his terrestrial mum. The being then sent a message into his brain via his optic nerve letting him know that she was his “real mum.”

The aliens friends and family of Mr. Parkes are described by him as having kite-shaped faces, large eyes, tiny holes in the place of a nose and and thin mouths. Parkes claims that his terrestrial acquaintances would prefer not to hear him talk about his alien relationships, although he has recorded his experiences on You-Tube. He also states that he would rather discuss leaky roofs and potholes with his constituents than recount his alien encounters. However, he goes on to say that the aliens make more sense to him than the happenings in Scarborough Town Hall.

One of Parkes’ fellow councillors, Terry Jennison claimed in a statement to the Yorkshire Post to be completely in the dark about the entire matter.

Man warned for prostitute complaint

October 12th, 2013 by Lisa
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A man has been warned by police after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute’s looks after meeting her outside a hotel. West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he “wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act”. An officer in the call centre at Solihull, Birmingham, responded by telling the man the woman had not committed any offences and explained to him that soliciting for sex was illegal. The force has now sent the man a letter warning him about wasting police time. A spokesman for West Midlands Police said:
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Don’t Jerk and Drive

December 14th, 2015 by Lisa
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‘Tis the season for Christmas lights and mince pies! Unfortunately, ‘tis also the season for icy roads and snowstorms. So the American Department of Public Safety thought they’d put together a little video campaign to remind us how to stay safe while driving – they called it “Don’t Jerk and Drive’. Watch the video here Predictably, this proper driving campaign has already made headlines, grabbing the attention of drivers everywhere, and even stirring up a few prudish feelings in those that can’t handle double meaning in their driving instructions. South Dakota has already pulled the plug on this video and has
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Do You Want Friends With Benefits?

December 29th, 2011 by Lisa
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Do you want friends with benefits? Do you want to be one of those sexy friends? How can you approach South African dating and other adult online dating sites to find someone that will fit this need in your life? There are some potential hazards of a friends with benefits relationship. However, if you know how to handle the terrain, you are more likely to have some great relationships. To start with it’s important to understand what a sexy friend is. This is not somebody that you start having sex with in the hopes that they will eventually fall in
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How Naughty Have You Been?

April 9th, 2016 by Lisa
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Everyone’s got a bit of naughtiness in them – some have more than most. As a child being too naughty meant no gifts from Santa, but as an adult, it means something entirely different. Still wondering if you’ve made the naughty list this year? We’ve compiled a list of 20 sexual escapades and activities to see just how saucy some of you are. How many of these have you done? Tally up your score and see if you make the naughty list! 1. Made a sex video (5 points) 2. Sex with a foreigner (1 point for each nationality) 3.
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