Female Alien Involved in Terrestrial Love Triangle
A 53-year old Labour councillor and driving instructor is claiming that his romantic relationship with an alien has caused significant strife in his marriage. Simon Parkes and his alien lover, the Cat Queen, have a child together by the name of Zarka. Parkes claims that having intercourse with his alien child’s mother has been putting quite a strain on his relationship with his human wife, with whom he has three children. He states that he and his extraterrestrial paramour have sex on an average of four times per year.
Parkes describes the sexual encounters with his alien lover as the two of them holding hands, saying, “I’m ready,” which causes some type of mysterious technology to elevate the two lovebirds to a spacecraft that is orbiting the Earth.
Parkes also claims that his real mother is 9 foot tall alien female with eight fingers who first contacted him while he was still in the womb and then again when he was six months old. He says that her long, skinny fingers that looked like bean poles were the first indication that the creature kneeling by his cot and reaching out to him wasn’t his terrestrial mum. The being then sent a message into his brain via his optic nerve letting him know that she was his “real mum.”
The aliens friends and family of Mr. Parkes are described by him as having kite-shaped faces, large eyes, tiny holes in the place of a nose and and thin mouths. Parkes claims that his terrestrial acquaintances would prefer not to hear him talk about his alien relationships, although he has recorded his experiences on You-Tube. He also states that he would rather discuss leaky roofs and potholes with his constituents than recount his alien encounters. However, he goes on to say that the aliens make more sense to him than the happenings in Scarborough Town Hall.
One of Parkes’ fellow councillors, Terry Jennison claimed in a statement to the Yorkshire Post to be completely in the dark about the entire matter.
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