Casual sex begins in much the same way for everyone. You just want to satisfy that inner, animal instinct. That craving that comes from seeing something, and wanting to devour and enjoy every bit of it….but just for a little while. You just want a little taste, but you don’t want to invest in a long term relationship.
Friend with benefits runs the risk of getting messy unless you follow a few tried and tested guidelines to keep it fun and keep it casual. You have to have that strategy to keep your emotions in check:
Find someone that you’re not fully compatible with. If you start seeing someone who you perceive as “perfect” in every way, you may want to slide into a relationship. If this is not what you want, then find a partner who is sexy and fun but not someone you can see spending the rest of your life with.
Making it crystal clear
Make it very clear that all you are after is casual sex and nothing more. There is no need to stay overnight, send flowers, or meet the parents if it’s all about getting laid. If you get a sense that the other person is starting to get attached, address is immediately. Don’t let a flicker of hope turn into a flame that can’t be extinguished.
Make it very clear to yourself that it’s just casual. Our minds can be very clever by tricking us into believing that what feels good to the body is something more than what it is. Remind yourself before and after every encounter that this is only about chemistry, passion, and lust. Nothing more.
Make it crazy, kinky, and exploratory. In a fun way, this can be like a science experiment. See what feels good, what’s fun. It’s harder to imagine having a serious relationship with someone who is just a kinky lab partner!
Even casual sex requires that your treated in respectfully – even if you are being “naughty”. If your playmate starts to do things that take you for granted, like showing up without calling, or showing up late, then you can put your foot down and move on.
When it’s time to end the relationship, then end it clean. Just as you started with a clear goal in mind, end it with that same sense of honesty. Don’t leave the impression that you will be back for more if that’s not your intention.
Following these few simple guidelines could open up a whole new world of casual encounters with no string attached. Every game has a set of rules. Getting laid is no different.
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